A wife and two kids

Bad Mummy

2009-05-10T11:26:00.004+01:00

There are just about a few words and even sentences that I can make out when Lila speaks these days. For certain, she is braver than Aga and knows how to deal with delicate situations.

There is never any problem with feeding Aga; he finishes everything and usually does not complain if the food is to his liking or not. Lila on the other hand has strong preferences and she will make sure you understand them. It is impossible for you to feed Lila food she does not like. Mummy is of course aware of this and she found out Lila indeed can be bribed when it comes to matters such as these.

You can , for example, never succeed in giving her a spoon of something she does not like (force feeding never works with her) but you can bribe her with pieces of potato crisps on the side. You danlge a crisp with your left and just when she is about to grab it from you, you feed her a spoon of the other stuff she hates with a vengance.

One day Monica tried to mess with Lila. Monica decided she will resist as much as possible from bribing Lila. Lila was crying her bum off and making all sorts of threathening noises. Lila was certain Mummy knew what she was looking for; the crisp was no where to be seen.

Lila gave up. She yelled "Bad Mummy" !!! Monica and I cracked up instantly.

These days, Lila speaks many words and may be even sentences but I can only figure out a handful of those.

She says "Wake up Daddy" when I am sleeping.

She says "Where is Aga?". "Look Mummy, There he is". "Look mummy".

But none of these are as precious as "Bad Mummy".

If I am angry with Aga, he moves to a corner quietly and waits for the situation to simmer. Then after about 10 minutes he will join back the mainstream of activities. But, Lila, she is not afraid of me. If I am corss with her, she will walk "straight" towards me and "whisper" to me; "daddy, blah blah blah blah". I have no idea what she says, but I am certain she is doing one of (a) telling me hat I should not be cross with her (b) explain what she was doing in the first place (c) threatening me in return.

When Spring feels like Summer

2006-09-17T06:34:00.000+01:00

It is 07:45am. You are on your way to work, surprisingly by foot, and you feel it is the middle of summer. It is surely a dream, of course, unless you come to senses quickly and appreciate you are in Australia. Yes people: Summer is here. Do not bother asking a local as they will contend even Spring has not started.

Agastya is below par since we arrived from Semarang. He had a cough to start with which intensified before it came to a lull. Since last night he has been throwing up and not been able to keep anything down, not even water. He is almost dehydrated. We feed him electrolytes by the spoon. It take less than a minute for him to heave everything he takes in and he seems to be conscious that is exactly what will happen if he happens to take in anymore. Due to this [let us call it presumption] he declines to drink or eat . We are vexed a bit; Optimistically, from this evening, he will be able to keep at least half of all the electrolytes he takes in. That would keep his energy stay at modest levels and give his body the basis to fight this stomach flu / virus.

We went to the Healesville sanctuary yesterday with Aga. It was a much better outing than the one we had in Jan 2006 to the Melbourne Zoo. Aga is old enough to distinguish the fluffy creatures and acknowledge them. He rode a bronze Emu, stomped on the testicles of a Bronze Kangaroo; hunted a few stupid looking [Ibis] flightless birds. He started having conversations with Kangaroos and they even stopped to listen to what this little devil had to say. He didn't care much for Koalas excepting a oversized, stuffed replica at the entrance.

Cadbury's Caramel Koala made a guest appearance that day and Aga received a hug and a Caramel bar. Monica refused to stay or listen to the lecture on Snakes and Venoms. The reptile area was my favourite in the Zoo but neither Aga nor Monica had any of it. If the animals did not have legs, Monica can't be bothered. Aga loved the Pelicans so much that he wanted to cross the barrier and grab one. There was a Tasmanian Devil which was doing the rounds and Aga wanted to get into the fray of things. So, all in all, it was a good Saturday with the Sun high up shining at approximately 22 degrees.

moving home

2004-12-06T15:43:00.000Z

it has been a long, long time and i am aware of it. i had plenty to write but not the time. the things i have in my schedule these days don't permit me to be as prolific as i used to be on blogger.com

since neither i nor monica blog very often these days, we decided to combine our blogs into one - ofcourse, we would post individually and you would know who the author is by looking at the signature. after about 7 months, i sign off from amritapuri and move to chillicrab.

please follow me to www.chillicrab.net

baby stuff

2004-11-08T17:26:00.000Z

last week i had completed some of the coding work but there are many areas that remain unclear. the weekend was hectic to say the least. on saturday we had our first parental class. well, i am not sure why they call it parental classes as they taught us nothing about parenting. it was more like a class aimed at preparing women for delivery.

they showed us things that will come in handy from week 36 onwards. the positions pregnant women should adopt that would assist the baby getting into the optimum position. the bloodcurdling part - the labour itself - was shown to us as a *movie*. there was a bit of scare-mongering with the midwives telling us that it is an average of 12 hours in labour if it is our first child. how painful is it really ? well, the midwife explains colourfully: "open your mouth as wide as you possibly can until you can feel it stretch and clip at the sides - amplify that 100 times and there you know how labour feels"

what the heck ? i thought midwives are supposed to ease the pain by telling women that it is just 1 day in their lives and it is just those 2 or 3 hours of stage 2 that women need to overcome. to be fair, we all discussed merits and demerits of some of the pain killer options women have at their disposal. we had a total of 14 people attending the course, 7 pairs exactly. i would have expected women to ask most of the questions while in reality it turned out i was the one who was posing most of the questions. how embarrassing ?

we have to buy some shower curtains - to make sure there is no mess when monica's water breaks. i need to keep an emergency pack in my car all the time - toiletries, change of clothes and such. we went to babies'r'us on sunday. we have a catalogue in our possesion now. monica and i are going through it to decide what to buy. we are thinking about converting the smallest room in our house to a baby room. a cot, pram, car seat, clothing, decorations, plush toys etc. are some of the things we need to buy in the next few weeks. well, nothing more to write. we have at least 2 classes scheduled every week between now and december.

8 more weeks really .. counting down impatiently.

the 4 year curse

2004-11-03T10:20:00.000Z

bambino's 85 yr old curse might be over but bush jr's 4 year old despotism seems to be gathering steam for a further 4 years. on the optimistic side, this would be his final term.

i stayed up late until 03:00 am to catch some of the election coverage - from CNN, BBC and TV5 [france]. i will come back to this but first i need to bring to your attention something called virtual voting. it is a london based non political, non governmental organisation that has been requesting site visitors to cast their votes on the US presidential election. it was a landslide for kerry with 77% of all the votes going in his favour. even nader got 14%, ostensibly, while bush jr deservedly got his 7 odd percentage points.

it shows how bush jr is truly beheld - OUTSIDE of the usa that is. however, i begin to marvel how different american people really can be ? can it be so that bush's approval rating is 7% worldwide [excluding the usa] while at least a simple majority of americans think bush jr. is the real deal ? even more mystifying: CNN reports, 54% of all men voted for bush jr. while 54% of all women voted for kerry! for the first time in my life i feel ashamed being a man ! a confounding note, why do i agonise much about who is elected ? i neither have voting privileges [thankfully] nor am i an american.

on why i like kerry: he speaks clearly, answers only to the questions posed, gets his numbers right almost all the time and candidly discloses that war would be his last alternative. now, that takes fortitude to say [not caring about whether it would crucify him eventually] especially in a land where an overwhelming majority of its citizens often see nothing wrong in poking their noses where they don't belong.

journalism is a powerful trade. journalists have the aptitude to influence absolutely *anyone*. the reports from CNN were decidedly pro-bush jr while BBC's were fairly neutral - i suppose BBC had no motive to sway either side. at this moment bush jr is leading 254 to 252. i pray and hope kerry carries ohio. but i know it would be wishful thinking. i am going to refrain from saying it but i am afraid i know who actually will win.

if kerry loses, the world collectively would lose. if bush jr wins, he would have won *simply* because he played his "war on terror" card brilliantly well.

HRH general el presidente musharaf is smiling ! if bush jr wins, i heard, musharaf has plans to go to mecca, offer his thanks and tattoo an image of bush jr on his arse. hey ! that may be one reason why bush should lose :-) - avoid having his face on musharaf's arse ?

random

2004-10-31T10:57:00.000Z

the clock went backwards by one hour today. we will have the sun come up a little earlier than usual. i have tons of work this coming week, dreading it actually. too much to do in a short time + [fairly useful] meetings on top of this.

international phone connections seem to have gone down today. i tried calling singapore and australia this morning [sunday, 31.10.04] and the automated voice declares she cannot connect me this moment. this has been happening for 2 hours now. i will probably give it one last try before giving up until next weekend.

things happening this coming week: monica's last day at work tomorrow, monica's aquanatal class on friday and our first NHS class on parenting on saturday. monica has booked and paid her for tickets to indonesia: departing on the 20.02.05 and arriving on the 14.05.05 i think. we couldn't buy the ticket for the baby as they required a name and date of birth - things we obviously couldn't supply yesterday. we have been advised that it would be fairly easy to buy infant tickets, hence, no need to fret over it.

bosox did beat st.louis cardinals as predicted. good for them. on the sad side, india lost the test series to australia - the first time india had lost to australia at home since 1969 !! a record that stood for 35 years is gone. but then, records are meant to be broken. hmm ..

hyper-sensitive nose

2004-10-28T11:08:00.000+01:00

in the car, driving towards cambridge from milton.

monica: nuggie, did you fart ?
me: no man. my office is close to a farm land, the smell of cow dung and manure is rife in the air in that area. may be that is what you are smelling.
monica: oh ! ok.

in the afternoon, on the way back from cambridge

monica: did you fart nuggie ?
me: yes
monica: why don't you fart outside ?
me: bu .. but, i farted 1 hour back on st. andrew's street. not now !
monica: oh ! ok.

in the evening, watching agatha christie's poirot on the telly

monica: i sshhhmell something, did you fart nuggie ?
me: NO man.
monica: oh ! ok. may be it is your shoes ?
me: yes, possible. but my shoes are about 10 feet away along with all the other shoes in this family.
monica: oh ! ok. may be it is your feet then ?
me: no, don't think so. i always wash my feet after removing the shoes and socks when i come back home
monica: oh ! ok.

end of poirot, time to open my daily mail and bills

monica: i shhmell something, did you fart ?
me: oh God, no man !!
monica: may be it is the envelope ?
me: yes, must be. i don't think the british home office and UK's inland revenue have anything better to do than to send me a "mail-a-fart" envelope just to piss you off.
monica: kikikiki .. ok
monica: i *still* smell something nuggie !
monica: can i light some perfumed candles ?

now, we have perfumed candles everywhere ! in the living room, kitchen, bedroom. sooner rather than later, we will find a perfumed candle floating in the toilet where yovita's "mighty, unsinkable poo" once used to float.

3am, sound asleep

monica: nuggie ... nuggie .. NUGGIE !!!
me: uh, huh .. yeah ?
monica: did you fart ?
me: how the bloddy hell i am supposed to know, may be i did when i was sleeping ?
monica: oh ! shmells.
me: crazy indonesian
monica: bloody indian !!

i am confused. where is the problem ? my arsehole or her nosehole ? hmm..

coming along just fine

2004-10-27T23:56:00.000+01:00

hmm .. some annotations on monica's website. krithika, my sister and [ammu AKA moose], my niece had offered to do monica's site. my niece is pretty much an accomplished web site schemer and her work ethics qualitatively are up there alongside any of the best in the world. krithi's mate rakhee has this web design firm in bombay, india and krithi wanted to draw up much of the needed support from her. in turn, rakhee utilises deepali's expertise in scripting and graphics design. let me not get into too much detail as this is not the point i intend to drive in this "some what" scrupulous blog.

to keep it short, a lot of people have staked much of their time into this project and all monica or i did was give suggestions as to what is to her liking and what better ways to symbolise her ideas etc. it is coming along so well: now it has a forum, blog area, private & public galleries, lyrics database, story vault, guest book .. blah blah. krithi has been ceaselessly patient and perceptive through all this as monica could be quite enduring and selective. but then, krithi and monica have always liked and understood each other very much.

when my brother got married in june 2001, i couldn't attend his wedding since the usa embassy refused me a visit visa. but gladly enough, they granted monica a visa and i asked her to attend the wedding. bear in mind, although monica has spoken to my family members, until june 2001 she had never seen any of them ! i acutely recall monica telling me on her return: "nuggie .. when i came out of the arrivals hall, before i could realise what happened i was hugged by someone". now, that was krithi. monica described the episode as "exceptionally warm and affectionately comfortable". you know, there is something called "first impression" and it almost always works. monica even said "she could see tears about to roll off krithi's eyes" before she boarded the plane back to the UK.

krithi, for her part, promptly called me and warned that she would "kick my arse if i don't take care of that sensitive and mature girl". hello !!! do i look like king louis from jungle book ? [please note, krithi used the word mature here. how wrong could she be ?]

so, returning from all that twaddle, the point to note is: many people have spent loads of time in to monica's site. the site is sure to open in a few days. i hope monica & her mates can use all the facilities the site provides to their satisfaction.

mi manhood

2004-10-27T23:53:00.000+01:00

the midwife says, by week 33 the baby usually gets into position for delivery. monica is in week 29 and the baby is already in position !! the midwife did say the baby will move around when and how he feels necessary. just this morning, i read an editorial on the internet. when the baby's head is down towards the pelvis, there are 2 feasible postures - the back of his head faces the mother's tummy [called anterior] and the other where the back of his head faces the mother's spine [called posterior].

so, which one is better ? when the baby is in anterior position, the widest part of his head fits well into the widest part of the mother's pelvis - easy and short labour. if the posture is posterior, the baby needs assisted delivery, usually including forceps and ventouse [some sort of a suction device]. is it luck then the baby gets into an anterior posture ? absolutely not, the docs say. start mopping floors, wipe skirtings clean, don't sit on the couch curled up while watching telly, don't sit at the computer for long, never sit such that your bottom is down and knees are up, don't sit in the car for long - these make the pelvis incline backwards meaning most western women end up having babies in posterior positions.

monica's maternity leave starts on monday. i bet she is saying woo hoo at the moment. she goes to antenatal yoga on monday + aquanatal classes on friday. good things really. she intends to change her name to HRH.sittin_on_her_arzealot. i am the "dedicated" everything at home now. well, to be evenhanded, yovita does help out as much as she can. the Rh compatibility tests have shown everything is ok. well, the baby moves around a lot monica says. he is doing the mexican waves inside her tummy. he likes it when we run our fingers over monica's tummy. i think he has a feel for it - much like a cat going after anything that moves.

monica has breathing difficulties. this is because the baby is already in position with his head down: most importantly with his legs up towards the top of monica's tummy. hence, her chest expansion does not occur with ease. it is a tussle - but not a major concern.

oh .. i don't know how many of your use yahoo for email ? i use both hotmail [seldom] and yahoo [habitually] and i grant they both handle bulk email very well - but differently. in yahoo, you can go sift through your bulk folder and see if the engine made a mistake in classifying. anyway, we all know the "increase your bust and enlarge your penis" email we get day in and day out. if any of these junks were true, i should be able to simply sit at home, enlarge my penis, apply for a 0% mortgage, acquire a free 500 USD credit card every week and live my life for free with the government happily financing it.

but, this one email today was a shock - well, bastards, i take this one personally. the subject of this email was quite compelling. so, i open it. the body of the email was short and simple. "NAGI, your wife wants you to enlarge your penis". hello !! who is this klutz ? would my wife not tell me directly instead of using some cocker spaniel for a messenger ? or may be this is monica's crafty way of saying something about mi manhood ? hmm.. i have to investigate..

photos from country park

2004-10-25T21:40:00.000+01:00

.. here is a [link] to the photos from our weekend walk. well, there are few photos of monica from days old, you can figure it out.

my niece left a comment regarding my previous post. people like pointing out mistakes. :-) it is not the houston "astros" boston "red sox" are playing. it is the st. louis "cardinals" who are in the finals. still, red sox should sail through .. hmm .. finguuuuuuurs crossed man !

85 year curse

2004-10-25T11:15:00.000+01:00

bambino's 1918 curse is over !! the boston red sox turned a 0-3 deficit to beat the new york yankees 4-3. there were 2 base ball teams i ardently followed while i was in the usa, the atlanta braves and the boston red sox. this is indeed great news. anyway, the story goes as follows: from 1914 to 1918, boston red sox had won 5 straight world series titles. in 1918 however, boston red sox's manager sold one of his most valued stars - "bambino [aka] babe ruth" - to the new york yankees to fund his girl friend's play.

since then the boston red sox have never ever won the title. a curse, they say, the bambino's curse. not that the sox have won the title this time, they still have to play the finals against houston's astros - but beating the yankees almost defintely must mean they would beat the astros. well, let us hope so [my finguuurs crossed man].

last weekend was perfect. we had good lunch in the city. cypriot food, well, greek food really. we went to [heffers] after that and picked up the book monica had ordered 2 weeks earlier. it is a dictionary of sanskrit names. now, we have a list of names - one list made by me, one by monica and one [yes] by yovita. i and monica will sit together and draft a final list from these - a list that would have no objections from either me or monica. then, the final list will be filtered by the maharajah of kumbakonam [aka ME] to just one. woo hoo !! feels good to say that. the first kid will be named by me, the second kid will be named by monica - that is the deal. but we are not going to have a second kid !! hmm...

sunday was good. we went for a loooooong walk in the [country park]. the sun was up and the lakes were full of birds. kids on their bikes, stoopid looking dogs trying to sniff my private parts, tall trees showing yellow/orange/red colours - some of the things you could have sighted at milton last weekend.

list of to do's this week: mid wife appointment on tuesday. winter gym session from monday and on friday we have a "wear it pink" office day. essentially, we have to wear something PINK [shocking pink preferably] and give some money for cancer research. will i wear pink - i will keep you guessing.

yes people, monica's site is being readied. almost there - reaching, reaching, reaching - not able to touch it yet. be patient.

no more movies..

2004-10-15T16:58:00.000+01:00

no more movies until delivery ? WHA !! the reason, monica says, is because she feels uncomfortable sitting in those chairs at the cinema. the reason, i reckon, is that her arse has become too fat to fit in those seats :-). oops, i better watch out when i get back home tonight. she will perhaps feed me cat food, shove me to sleep on the couch or cut my penis off while i sleep.

antenatal [yoga], aquanatal [swimming], child birth preparatory [for mums & dads], NHS workshop [for mums] are some of the classes monica would have to attend between now and child birth. three evenings in a week will be devoted to these proceedings. i would go with monica to the evening classes ofcourse.

isn't it frustrating when people spell your name any which way they want - particularly after you have spelled it for them a few minutes earlier ? the most hated character, i am sure, has got to be the english alphabet 'h'.

yes sir, your name please ?
-> nagi mahalingam

yes, can you spell it for me please ?
-> can i write it down for you please, the surname is quite long

sure, very kind of your sir.
-> n a g i [] m a h a l i n g a m

ok, thank you sir. i will input them into the computer and print out a copy for your records.

wallah ! the print out is handed out. i take one look at it and throw a tantrum. the bastard [sometimes a bitch] has inserted a 'h' in my surname. mahalingHam. man, there is no f*&^ing HAM in my name !

-> ahem ... hiks, you spelled my name wrong.
oh, i am terribly sorry sir.

the guy takes a look, compares names and says:

sorry sir, i don't see it. everything looks to be in order.
-> ayatollah bloody arseholla, can you not see the extra 'H' in my surname ?

if this happens once or twice it is ok, i am sure it will be no more than a faux pas. everyone - in every organization, agency, cricket club, bank – all spell it wrong !!! oh God. i am heated up. could it be just that, lots of names in the UK do actually have a similarity with my name ?[yes, i am not joking].

willingHam, gillingHam, walsingHam, alkHam, cheltenHam, chippenHam, birmingHam – just a few examples. please go aheard and insert mahalingHam somewhere up in the list.

have to go home now. bonus, it is a weekend - although a rainy one.

yes, i am alive

2004-10-12T17:21:00.000+01:00

my apologies for an overly delayed blog. unfortunately, i have been tied up at work and my daily work load is twice as much as it used to be back at nokia. while i have my sanity intact, i cannot claim this is a good deal – but the rate at which i am learning can't be anything but preposterous.

my hardware background begins at and ends with naught. now, i have been asked to design a shared memory system and a mailbox methodology for inter process communication. God, where do I begin ? but, honestly, there are examples to follow and i am not overly troubled by it.

monica is HUGE !! her diet regularly include "finest" short bread cookies, french / italian bread with pure, clarified butter, lamb slow roasted in beef stock and similar items. na .. just joking. she looks awesome although i never imagined a tiny woman with an enormous tummy. she just looks like the smiling Buddha on a sofa [without the smiles] ordering me and yovita around constantly, demanding either this or that. the baby kicks too much. it is not subtle anymore, you could see the kicks at left bottom and a few seconds later it is at the right top. i admit the baby cannot be moving around that fast, may be it is a kick & punch combination – kick with the left leg, punch with the right hand ?

we have seen a few movies lately: hero by jet li – I give it a zero. complete crap. bride and prejudice – an adaptation of jane austen's classic, was good. not as good as gurinder's previous hit bend it like becks. the movie has lighter moments. they could have cut down on the number of songs. even funnier, the cinema had more chinese audience than brits and more brits than bloody indians !!.

monica's blood group is A+ and mine is B+. so, there are no concerns with 'Rh' mismatch. monica had done some additional tests today and we will know the results when we meet up with the midwife in 2 weeks' time.

hopefully everything will be ok.

a few more weeks.. and..

2004-09-22T18:42:00.000+01:00

india's batting was dismal and even a valiant fight back with their mercurial bowling couldn't thwart a well deserved pakistan win last sunday. but, i presume this is a blessing in disguise for india. surely, they cannot play like this if they are to win against the mighty australians – who are touring india this october. bear in mind, australia has not won against india in 30 years, on indian soil that is - a lot of pride at stake surely. during this cricket championship, all my predictions have been smacked silly. i predicted india to win against pakistan, pakistan to win against west indies and australia to win against england. unerringly the reverse happened on each instance, bloody bollocks !!

monica and i met up with the midwife on tuesday. we had all our apprehensions put to rest. evidently, this lady knows a lot and has seen many handsome & healthy babies successfully delivered under her supervision. she told us not to fret much about occasional vitamin/mineral deficiency in monica's food intake. we still do not know monica's blood group. we need to commence our parental classes soon. in 15 weeks approximately i will be a father. i am excitably nervous. i give too much thought to safety these days. imagine me coming to work, dock my laptop, sit in my chair and frantically search for seat belts !. yes, i am mortified when my colleague asks me what it is i am probing for – i certainly cannot say seat belts, can i ?

around this time, when the baby is growing at a frantic pace, a pregnant woman's back is supposed to ache. i hear that pregnant women could go for swimming to alleviate this a bit. sitting up straight – without legs crossed – is another option. monica is a bit concerned about pain & labour. i don't know what to say or advocate at the moment. admittedly, i am thinking more about the baby's safety than i am about monica's. i am sure monica does the same – caring more about the baby than herself. some of the options they suggest, which i am sure are tested time and again, are plainly difficult to visualise or digest. two days ago, i & monica had a dialogue about this and what ever it is i told pissed monica off barely a few minutes before she went off to bed. in the morning i informed her that we shouldn't worry too much about labour now. my uncle in australia, whom i admire much, once said the trick is to wait for it to come to you. it is true. in approximately 15 to 17 weeks, ready or not, our baby will make a grand entrance into this world. why bother now and worry about something that we know will happen ? i also drove a point: it can't be entirely unpleasant. monica's mom wouldn't have gone through it twice more if she had a difficult time delivering her first baby. at least for that day, monica seemed pacified.

we still have 4 to 5 appointments with the midwife – on a regular basis before delivery. we want to talk about all these pain killer options with the midwife. all in all, things look good at the moment. as shakespeare rightly said all's well that ends well.

i clasp my hands and pray !

kung fu

2004-09-15T17:22:00.000+01:00

for the past few days the baby has been rehearsing kung fu moves inside monica's tummy. he is very active during specific times of the day. he most certainly likes string instruments. i make monica listen to some classical music before she sleeps – i insist on non-vocal classical, monica favours pavarotti type waffle. but we both know what the baby likes, classicals involving string instruments. when i was doing my research in australia, i had read many editorials in neural networks periodicals on how babies fortify their neural connections [called dentrites]. listening to classical music, not necessarily while in the womb, accelerates the baby's cranial development.

when i close my eyes and i listen to string instruments, it does something to my brain – a sensation that i perhaps cannot explain comprehensively, but i can confidently affirm that my concentration is far superior after one of those sessions. anyway, i asked monica if it hurts when he kicks about. she said it is makes her feel more or less ticklish. oh boy, i am waiting to glimpse what happens when the kicks become more pronounced and frequent. if monica wakes up in the middle of the night giggling hysterically, the only possible explanation – Tickles !

caron, chris's girl friend had her 2nd scan on the 14th and it turns out she will deliver a baby boy too ! my mate joe is coming over this weekend to visit us & cambridge. joe, chris, caron, monica, i & yovita will all meet up for dinner some place nice this weekend. on sunday [19.09.04] evening i will be either extremely cheerful or $^#%& pissed off, no mid point here. india plays pakistan at birmingham and i hope india wins the game by playing some fantastic cricket. i will let you know how it went on monday.

i noticed a visitor from the government to my web site. hmm, i wonder what s/he was looking for. don't know, don't care – got nothing to be afraid off.

aditya, may be.

2004-09-13T18:52:00.000+01:00

a few days ago, i saw this survey on CNN. if we send a "noah's ark" to the moon who would you exclude ?

[1] politicians
[2] lawyers
[3] smokers
[4] sales people

over 40% of the people voted for smokers. i was thinking to myself, these people must either be genuinely outrageous or entirely dim-witted. with a non-existent atmosphere, the smoke just wouldn't be there after a puff ! then I thought, 40% of americans can't be daft [!!] and i went about interpreting the news in full. obviously, there will be a biosphere to take into description and we don't want any polluting in there, do we ? so, that makes sense now.

now that we know monica will deliver a baby boy, we are thinking about baby names. chief in that list at the moment is aditya. there are a few more names both I & monica like and there are many more that either i or monica like but not jointly.

monica scans an article on the BBC that alleges dads sleep through when babies cry at nights. to make matters worse, they also assert some dads pretend to be sound asleep when moms go through their routine. the fact is, i sleep very low & thin and the slightest clamour will wake me up. people shutting car doors an entire block away, door knobs turning, switching the fan off – everything & anything can wake me up [except when monica endeavours to wake me up by ordering me to discontinue snorrrring]. so you see, i can’t empathise why monica specifically sends me a link to that article.

on the funny side, monica dispatches [this link] yesterday and said the third photo on the page is hilarious. i had a quick look and i didn’t see anything remarkable or comical. so, i had a look at all the other photos on the page – still nothing curious or amusing. so, i revisit the 3rd photo and spent a few good seconds on it. Wallah !! there it was. absolutely hilarious. i trust you all can see the funny side of it.

ok, on to essential information: while we were reasonably sure monica gets an adequate amount of vitamins & minerals from her daily intakes, we just realised that she might be low on calcium. milk is a major base for calcium, but monica won't have any of that. Lactose intolerance is the appreciable rationale. so, we have a rendezvous with the doctor to enquire what can be done about this. don't worry, it is not that she is dreadfully low on calcium. she gets a moderate amount every day, but certainly not the minimum recommended allowance.

monica's brand new web site will be up and running sometime middle of next week, i am sure. i don’t want to give away too many particulars about the site at the moment. it will be a showcase for almost everything. my ever-so-patient niece [moose] has graciously offered to do all the hard work in relation to this.

at work, my design documents are geared up for review. there are a few that still needs work, but pretty much the whole of the design is ready for inspection. after that there will be some re-work, then re-review and wallah !! time to code & implement the 3G mobile ! monica has started looking at air fares [!!] to semarang for april 05. our idea is for monica to stay here in cambridge for up to 20 weeks after delivery and then go to indonesia for a just few months where she can get abundant domestic help.

2nd scan, week 21

2004-09-06T10:58:00.000+01:00

i have this daft for a friend in india named sanjeev. he is a prime example of what a shallow reader is. he takes one single look at the subject heading [from my previous blog] and thinks monica has already delivered !!

so, he sends me a "congratulations mate" on yahoo IM™ and since i didn't know what for, i gleefully acknowledged it. he proceeded, "when" ? i thought he was enquiring when we knew the baby was a boy. i countered, "this morning, about 2 hours back". sanjeev comes back with, "oh good ! hope miaw and the baby are fine". do note, he always addresses monica as "miaw". albeit a bit aggravating, we have come to recognise the fact he cannot be changed.

i said, yeah, both monica and the baby are fine. i had not established anything atypical in the questions above. sanjeev continues, "when are you planning to bring monica and the baby back from the hospital"? NOW it hit me. nothing surprising, sanjeev is celebrated for things like this. he can read the first page of a book and conclude the whole story from that. he reads my previous blog [i mean the subject line alone] and assumes "wow, monica has delivered". he is just preposterous !!

i gave him a sucker punch, online ofcourse, and told him there are 21 more weeks before delivery. he said, "then how did you know the sex of the baby, saala"? saala in hindi translates to brother-in-law. if i had sisters who are of comparable age to sanjeev, i pledge to you, i would keep that a secret from him. the medical amenities in india are among the finest in the world, we have patients from the UK & Europe going abroad to india for treatment, surgeries etc. they have everything in india that they need to have in a clinic or a hospital, BUT ultrasound for the purpose of knowing the baby's sex is proscribed by the government of india. so you see, you won't know the sex of the baby in india up until birth !

there have been a decline in female births in india over the last decade and the government swiftly realised this is because of prospective parents, sadly, preferring to abort when they find the baby is a girl! so, across the board, every hostpital in india will use ultrasound & radio scans only for ascertaining basics about the baby - but not the sex. doctors lose their license to practice if they are caught doing so. hence, sanjeev could be let off for messing up this time.

we bought a juice maker. it is marvellous. monica gets her 5 portions of fruits sans vegetables these days. india finally managed to beat england, quite competently. batting could be a worry and needs more effort. last weekend was fantastic, weather wise ofcourse. try and envisage a HOT england in September - 30 degrees ! hmm ..

one single photo of the scan from 1st september [here].

it is a baby BOY !

2004-09-01T11:11:00.000+01:00

quickie, 2nd scan on 01-09-2004: it is a boy ! we saw the feet, hands, fingers, toes, face, eyes, lips, jaw, spine, heart chambers, skull cross section - everything that we could identify. the ultrasound specialist said everything looks ok with the baby - the skull size, heart size, waist size, length etc.

will post the scans tomorrow or the day after.

spine tingler

2004-08-23T18:10:00.000+01:00

if boredom can make a turn for the worst, it can only lead to desolation. that is how i describe last weekend. india gets thumped out by australia in field hockey, 3-2 the score. india loses miserably to pakistan in cricket at holland. india's lone 400m sprinter finishes last in the semi finals. india's doubles tennis pair lose a bronze by a whisker to a lesser known croatian pair. hear this, indian weightlifters [non-participants in the olympics at athens] fail the drug test. if the bastards had won the gold and failed the drug test subsequently, i would be able to understand. [tendulkar] withdraws from the cricket tournament with a tennis elbow. all in all, it was quite disheartening for india and indians. however, we had an improbable winner – the weather in east anglia. it was sunny all day long – both on saturday and sunday. hence, i went into town and promptly got wedged amidst a group of chinese demonstrating – well, for the release of some jailbirds in china and for bringing [jiang zemin] to justice for his transgressions against [falun gong]. oh boy, that surely is going to happen.

finally heard from eric. he appears to be doing fine and says he has a few job offers. it is always nice to be in a position where you can choose. he said something about marriage, not sure if he was talking about his brother's or his own. he apparently went swimming with dolphins and various species of fish. good luck to him.

i have lots of secretarial work at the moment. all the design work i do now need to be detailed & recorded and there are about 50 odd charts i need to draw. hopefully, by the end of this week, i would have completed more than half of the charts i need to draw.

i am fervently looking forward to something spine-tingling next week. monica arrives next week, on bank holiday monday. i will indeed pick her up from heathrow. hold on, that is not the electrifying news. we have the second scan for the baby on the 1st of september when we will discover the sex of the baby. wooo yay !! as usual, i hope and pray that everything will be ok and normal with the baby and monica.

i suppose the baby is a girl, monica does too. i would like to observe what my readers predict. you can post incognito, so please do leave a comment. i will report as a percentage what the majority predicted and also the real outcome. photos of the 2nd scan middle of next week on [Rudhra].

saw [the village] last saturday. the ending could have been a little better, i presume. the story is original and for the most part the movie is engaging. my verdict 7/10.

hedges finally trimmed

2004-08-20T15:19:00.000+01:00

tomorrow is hedge trimming day. of course, the prospect of that happening partly depends on the weather. i went to the milton [wagon & horses] with tony for a paneer balti and a pint of carling yester night. they had 4 options: medium, hot, extra hot and "call the fire brigade". since i don’t have much to do this weekend and perhaps won't be distressed much by tummy aches or food poisoning, I dared to say "fire brigade please". to my surprise, when the food was dished up, it tasted just a tad spicier than "medium".

i have been reading NHS's purple book and i found something peculiar. the book, intended for moms to be, even had schemes for how to go about "getting pregnant". a few pages later it was all clear. evidently, this free purple book is not meant just for women who are already pregnant, but also for those who are planning on pregnancy. monica's mother was enquiring her if she is taking any vitamins and when monica replied in the negative, she was astounded. even my sister, krithi, was surprised to hear monica does not take any vitamin supplements. on our [very first visit] the doctor made it exceptionally clear "no, no, no, NO vitamins – except for folic acid". hence, i wanted to make sure the NHS purple book does corroborate what this doctor advised. the book reassured me that he was indeed correct. british doctors [european doctors] want the baby to take nutrients from unprocessed sources – fruits, vegetables, meat, pulses, dairy milk, early morning sun light etc.. i think it is a grand idea.

after the hedge sprucing, i have to go into town to deposit a cheque for [inland revenue]. oh well, i was enlightened by them, that i owe the UK govt. £199.20 in taxes [£196 + £3 in interest]. once that is done, i am going to reserve tickets for [the village]. next weekend there is a fantastic movie titled [motorcycle diaries]. this is about the life of two young men who travel the length of latin america and self-discover the revolutionists in them. one of them grows up to become the famed [che guevara]. monica wants to see [garfield], so I must wait until she returns from her jaunt.

monica is having a pleasant time in [semarang]. although she is the eldest among the three daughters in the family, she acts the youngest. every one, predominantly the servants, is relentlessly attending her, carrying out her requests etc. i am more than confident, now that she is pregnant, her requests would have turned into commands. i can visualise her father driving her around from one restaurant to another, picking up fruits from one vendor in the north of the city moving on to a noodle shop in the far south. fortunately, he is just like monica. he loves his food, he can be continually engaged in a snacking mode.

my boss was all praise for me after looking at my design for camping on the strongest cell in 3G. i have stolen monica's expensive headphones. they are exceptionally comfy and my classical music compilation sounds fantastic with that. i must buy her another pair before she returns.

untolerable

2004-08-18T11:49:00.000+01:00

last weekend was incredibly long. i had no idea what to do. this is the first time i had been alone in the UK – without monica – in 5 years! there have been numerous circumstances where monica had remained alone in the UK and I had been on business outings or on holidays but never the other way around.

monica is like a little puppy energetically circling you, many times infuriating - nevertheless a perpetually dedicated companion. we always have enough to do on weekends. last saturday i woke up early [well, early enough for a weekend], called her up at singapore, had brunch, watched field hockey [olympics] for 10 minutes and that was it. i was inordinately bored and looking for things to do. went to the city, bought another DVD player [we have three DVD players at home now – yes, all working], window shopped at an electronics [hi-fi] partnership and i was back home. there are no good movies at the cinema, so that is another bummer.

i don’t want to bore people to death by recounting how the remainder of the weekend went. weekdays are endurable, i spend 12 hours at work which is reasonably comforting. if i turn on the radio, all the stations for some sadistic reason start playing the "blues".

well, this coming weekend there are some nice movies. i intend to call [tony the pony] and ask him if he would like to join me.

scam

2004-08-18T10:53:00.000+01:00

i got an email from no_reply@blogger.com soliciting me to click on a link so that i could modify my password. the email read as per your application, here is the link that would permit you to change your password - please click and record your old and new passwords.

is this a con or someone trying to pull my leg ? it does not matter. supposing this infact is, this blog note could be considered as advanced warning.

loud fartz

2004-08-12T17:19:00.000+01:00

i have to tell you something hilarious about TTPcom. we have a live music band in the toilet. well, let me clarify – at least in the men’s toilet. you see, i never use the urinals but instead go directly into the toilet booth even if i have to just pee. so, i don't know who or how many constitute this band. while i am relaxing, doing the fireman dowsing out fires routine, the music commences. the music is disdainful, there are no scripts or rhythm and generally follows no pattern. i mean, people just come in and fart. even i, who can fart at will, am stupefied. you can hear bagpipes, petrifying explosions, a harley davidson type rattatatattta, melodious flutes and even snake hiiiiiiiiSSSsing. take note, if there are world records for loudest, longest farts, i am sure the holders of those dubious testimonies are employed at TTPcom. there is no perception of embarrassment or holding back. i just cannot prevent laughing sometimes.

in my glory days, i have recreated many musical instruments from my backside. but now, i bow in meekness and accept there are superiors to me. i presume the first thing I must do after entering the toilet is fart. i think it is like a visiting card to pompously declare, here I am, I have arrived.

anyway, the 3G standards are just amazing. the more you read, the more you appreciate you can never get to the end. for this reason, i am being selective – read what i have to know in the immediate future, agonise about the rest later. two momentous occasions this week:

• a little over half a century ago, on the 15th of august, India was emancipated. those perusing this blog, remember to sing happy birthday to India. two days later, on the 17th, it is Indonesia’s birthday.
• starting tomorrow until the end of august, i have my own liberation from monica as she is off to Singapore and Indonesia. i will drop her off at heathrow tomorrow. i can do anything i want, use up the entire bed – for two full weeks starting tomorrow.

monica weighs 48kgs now. woohooo !! this is the most she has weighed in her entire life. met [chris] last weekend along with monica and yovita. saw infernal affairs II, some chinese mafia movie from hong kong. my rating 4/10. verdict: don’t bother going unless they pay you to see.

fahrenheit 9/11

2004-08-02T19:27:00.000+01:00

last weekend we saw around the world in 80 days and fahrenheit 9/11. the first one, by [jackie chan] is almost certainly his worst ever. essentially, the movie is all about one kung-fu fighting chinese dude and an utterly moonstruck brit trying to circumnavigate the world with a parisian woman, who looks like a high class slut, tagging along almost all the way.

my verdict [5/10] – don’t waste your money on this movie. it is intended to be an adaptation of [jules verne’s] classic but it was more of a massacre than anything. mike moore’s [fahrenheit 9/11] enters my all time top 10 list. he is a genius. i am sure he is a democrat and perhaps hates republicans with a vengeance. but that is immaterial now. this movie is about a monkey posing as a president and ruling the most powerful nation on earth. mike’s documentary is a flawless balance of all displayable human emotions. i will not spoil it for you, please go and see it. if you see this movie and you have any sense [and voting rights], you will not vote for bush - ever. my verdict [9.9/10]. my ex-nokia associate and goofball, joseph farage, used to squeal about conspiracy theories behind the iraq offensive and I used to inspect his statements with scepticism. no, not anymore. hmm .. disregard bush, he is of no use to anyone.

some glad tidings from chris baines. caron is pregnant and they are expecting their baby during the last week of january 2005. as a matter of fact, I have known about this for 3 months now but chris requested me not to divulge this information to anyone until NHS had completed the first set of scans on caron. the whole lot is perfect and as it should be expected, chris is quite excited.

about monica: monica has yearnings for real unusual food – unusual because there is no way I could find those items for her anywhere in the UK. at home, i have monica and yovita assembling a looooong list of “food” they must avariciously consume on their impending trip to singapore & indonesia. you might wonder why yovita ? i ask the same thing myself. so, i begin to think that it just might be possible i have two pregnant women at home. that complicates the equation as I not only have a lot of explaining to do, but also set about finding the real culprit.

a few days back i saw the baby kicking about monica’s tummy. moncia thinks the baby is very active during evenings. monica is getting bigger as well. now you can undeniably see a protrusion on her tummy. i think i will take digital photos every week to catalogue and see how big she can actually get – up until delivery. we play some classical music for the baby in the evenings. it relaxes us as well at the same time. my work is good. lots to read and understand.

i like it when God smiles

2004-07-28T17:27:00.000+01:00

just returned from my jaunt to singapore and I feel wonderful. although I will candidly admit the vacation wasn’t all that relaxing, it was spiritually stirring and extraordinarily simple. I consider myself very religious [but not over fervent] and the thought of God smiling at me relaxes me instantaneously. I have never seen God; don’t think I will this lifetime. I love gazing at pictures of Shiva smiling, Krishna playing the flute or Jesus with arms stretched out – rather than an enraged Kali or a Jesus on the cross. the thought of a smiling God makes me feel at ease and my prayers are heartfelt and readily forthcoming.

this last outing to singapore lasted 13 days and I say I have been to the temples there each and every day – sometimes more than just once a day. I spent over 2 hours at the temple on most of my visits. people have a propensity to pray more when they are in need of something and I am no exception to this. I won’t be a charlatan and claim something else. I feel there are pressing issues in my life and my anxiety seems to find no boundaries. monica had scheduled her blood tests [unintentionally, when I was away at singapore] and I was desperately keen to ascertain everything was perfectly ok and normal.

I was praying both monica and the baby are normal – with no problems relating to HIV, hepatitis B, haemoglobin etc. when you are apprehensive, your mind has the ability to think of the pits and plays out unworkable situations and combinations from where you could or might have contracted some spiteful virus or disease. I am super special though. my mind plays everything in digital colour with dolby 5.1 – especially when I am sleeping. people call them nightmares, not me. I call it hyper extensible, perverted mind syndrome.

a pin/needle prick I had encountered in a cinema at melbourne, without more ado, flickers in my mind and I begin to summon up everything in detail including the day it happened - the 12th august 1997. the genius in me rallies to find all possible state of affairs including the possibility of that needle having HIV in its tip. fortunately, the results for the two sets of blood tests carried out on monica conclusively prove everything is perfectly ok and normal with her and the baby. monica even listened to the baby’s heartbeat.

I believe God deliberately put me through this unpleasant ordeal to teach me something focal. I have never felt love for monica like I felt when I was away at singapore. above all, the trip taught me how to breathe deeper, talk less and concentrate better. the spiritual rewards were a lot more than what I experienced over the past few years. there goes my anxiety down the drain.

photos from singapore trip are [here].

one more week

2004-07-18T08:58:00.000+01:00

cannot believe it has been a week since i arrived at singapore. it has been good and productive and i hope it stays the same. have been sending sms to monica all day long, most days, and i get no replies sometimes. monica's dad has returned to indonesia and it is just zita and me here now. been telling zita not to work until 10pm every day as she does not get paid for overtime at all.

zita's friend [ex-groupie from melbourne] has come to visit her and i am not planning to spend time with either of them today. i will go for a movie i guess with sunil instead and then a visit to the temple before i return home in the evening.

got an email from chris and he says things are well and he managed to see some movies at the film festival. i have been clicking away a lot of pictures and i have to sift through them. that is all for now. hope monica is doing very well at cambridge.

quickie

2004-07-13T06:27:00.000+01:00

singapore aint as hot as i thought it would be. the reason obviously must be the north-east monsoon. the north-east monsoon is lashing out parts of south india, the bay of bengal, bangladesh and even burma !

zita had sent me offline messages on friday and saturday last week. i didn't know since i was on my way to singapore through bahrain. don't ever fly gulf !! it is official, it is the crappiest airline in the world. 2 hours delay at heathrow. the control tower refused the captain a time slot to take off because he broke the "30 minutes maximum to lift off" curfew that is imposed on all airlines [except british airways of course as they have their own terminal]. so, we had to wait for 1 and a half hours before we could get clearance. he flew the aeroplane like a saudi arabian drives a mercedes. i have never seen a 747 average more than 1000 kph. although 2 hours late at take off, the aeroplane landed just 45 minutes after scheduled landing time.

our flight had lots of connecting passengers to sydney and singapore and our pilot had radio-ed bahrain to stop the connecting flight to singapore from taking off. bahrain's airport is as clean as singapore. at first glance, it looks like a las vegas casino with "gates" placed here and there, randomly, to confuse the gamblers. another 1000kph flight by cpt.screamzalot landed us at singapore just 6 minutes after scheduled landing time. fantastic !!

zita was surprised to see me as she has no idea i was here to meet her and all my other mates. met with sunil, balaji, balu, krishnan .. and a few more to go. i have been clicking pictures and will post them up upon my return.

spiderman 2 is so so lah. i have been going to the temples every day. feel nice and happy. hope monica is doing well in the UK.

adios brandcomms

2004-07-06T18:27:00.000+01:00

i have completed all the documentation work that required completion. i have 2 bugs to patch up but i am not in the mood. i have not done any useful work the whole of today apart from the little assistance i extended to annie on my [EAP-TLS] coding.

monica now weighs 46.5 kilograms!! woo yay !! that is about 2 kilograms more than what she averaged the whole of last few years. for those intrusive perverts who want to enquire how fat i am, i weigh a [modest] 74 kilograms. that is a full 7 kilograms more than what i used to weigh 5 years back. those 7 extra kilos, i confirm, are evenly split between my butt cheeks and face cheeks [i call them supplemental insulation or augmented fat reservoirs]. well, as monica put it – i certainly am one healthy, plump monkey at the centre of my village trying to cross bridges of all sorts.

my beautiful sister-in-law, [yovita], has concluded her A-levels and started preparing for SAT. she intends to audit two 1st year medicine courses at the [university of cambridge], take up her driving lessons and volunteer for some work at [addenbrookes]. one regrettable issue is that she has started cooking at home now since she has all the time she needs. that chicken she cooked a few days back, O'God, i feel sorry for that chicken mate. i made the bloomer of venturing into the kitchen while she was murdering the already dead chicken and i can never use that shirt ever again!! she burns everything she cooks man. much like the famed [midas touch], yovita's touch trans-mutates everything to black. i am dark brown and i better stay away from her before she turns me into charcoal.

i haven't been able to sleep well in recent times. i feel lethargic in the morning even after 6 to 7 hours of sleep every night. too much anxiety, outlandishly petrifying dreams and deep thoughts make me toss and turn. my back pain has returned. i don’t know why!! i do a bit of stretching exercise almost every day. it is not awful at the moment and i hope i can just go home and unwind tonight.

[eric] will be leaving the UK for good on the 24th. i am meeting him for dinner tomorrow. i hope he has a brilliant career and a cheerful future. although he is a complete jack ass, i and monica will surely miss him very much and wish him loads of good luck. monica will attend his graduation ceremony on the 17th. i will pay him a surprise visit at mauritius.

chris has his one week seminar to attend for his [open university] course on psychology down south. i cannot believe it, but it is true. 18 months of hard work [!!] at [brand communications] will come to a halt on thursday. i do not intend to do any shit on that day. tomorrow i have to make sure i devolve everything i ought to, pack up, gather everything that belongs to me, notify people that i am shifting etc. etc. i seek to relax completely for 2 weeks starting friday by doing absolutely nothing. i may or may not check my email for the next 2 weeks [but most likely will post another blog, depends on my shifty mood really].

4 more days ..

2004-07-02T16:32:00.000+01:00

ok, now i know who the enigmatic caller to my blog from new zeland is. this is freaky and coincidental. i was looking at nick's [photographs] after my cricket training last night and telling monica that he has become a refined photographer. all of a sudden, this morning, i see a comment from nick to my previous blog. surprise!! i have been speculating who from new zeland reads my blog and i know just the answer to it now. [nick james] an ardent [west ham] & [essex] devotee is my mate and an ex-nokia associate. a genuine explorer when it comes to travelling, he has holidayed in many far flung places i have dreamed off. i would recommend all my readers to pop into his site and you will see what i mean. but, i can say none of those snaps are comparable with [this one]. by the way, that is from my stag night. those of you who would even consider saying "nagi!! this is despicable", i have only one thing to remark. disgraceful? what do you think i experienced when i saw that picture the next day !! i was paraded like a dog and i wasn't conscious of that until the next morning !!

i've been sighting a lot of indonesian guests as well to my blogspot. i presume they are all referred from monica's. i wonder how many of them i know or have seen. may be some comments from the visitors would remind me who they are.

just 4 more days at brand !! woo yay !! i will take my associates for a pint at a local pub on Thursday [08.07.2004] afternoon. about my meticulously deliberated train jaunt across singapore, malaysia and thailand – my [boss] has blatantly rejected my petition and has forbidden me from travelling. she even threatened to shave & tattoo my arse [no point, arse is too black for any tattoo to stand out] and hide my passport after i go to sleep. hmm.. i am not clear in my mind what to do now. may be i can take her out for a nice feast and coax her in to signing a document conceding me legal right to travel ? hmm.. not sure. that sort of a meal would indeed cost me £500.00. that reminds me: monica has been consuming food like a monster, which is good. i must say she has a voracious appetite for meat at the moment.

next thursday [08.07.2004] is our 2nd anniversary. as usual monica will give me a card and some flowers [to embarrass me] and i plant her a kiss in return. [i can hear nick saying "you Indian bastard" while eric says "go on nagi"]. as always, i will take her out for a sumptuous meal and may be a movie after that. news flash about my norwegian friend inge solberg [nick james's ex-group mate]. we heard from marie that inge has chicken pox !! i wonder from where he got it. i hope he gets through this crusty and itchy phase safe and soon. marie gave me a map of southern france before leaving england. i should start making plans with monica for a weekend trip to lourdes and toulouse.

spoke with gareth, the irish mongoose, and he seems to be doing very well with his work. mr. chris baines, my ex-nokia manager, is doing well. he wasn't much bothered about england losing in euro 2004. last weekend i had a couple of pints with him at the pub in cherry hinton and indulged in some intellectual mumbo jumbo. well, that is the end of today's blog. sparkal, my mate from melbourne, sent this wonderful photo of a [public toilet]. while, yes, it looks nice and clean, i am not too sure if i can relieve myself in there. hmm ..

waitin for my visa

2004-06-29T09:45:00.000+01:00

i suppose william and monica are plotting against me. soon after i published my previous post [in which i had produced a ballpark figure of £3 million for the ultrasound scanner] william dispatches me a [link] from eBay for a south korean made scanner that has a price tag of £28,000 pounds. he alleges it is a bargain ! monica had a look at it and insists it is a much better scanner than the one they had at rosie. i am not taking any of that nonsense woman !

the other day william goes to sainsburys [a super market chain] and asked me if i wanted anything. since i did not bring lunch, i requested if he could get me a cheese & tomato panini and entrusted him with a £10 note. he goes to sainsburys, gives monica a tink on her mobile phone and reveals that her favourite cereal [which is not stocked in tesco, our regular super market, any longer] is on sainsburys's shelves !! monica implores him to get as many as he possibly can, ofcourse using my mahoney, all without me being aware of it !!

now our kitchen is filled to capacity with crispix, monica's breakfast cereal, and waffles. oh well, never mind. nothing of any value has transpired in the past 1 week. i just thought i would login and blog a bit just to convince you i am still operational. i have applied for my singapore visa late last week and i am anticipating it in a day or two. i am planning on a [train] journey from singapore through to malaysia and probably all the way to bangkok and back. well, i have to get permission from the [boss] for this.

i can see a tiny bulge in monica's tummy !! woo hoo !! nhs's purple booklet says there will be a lot of harmonal activity in the expectant woman's body often translating to an increase in the body size, breast size and even mild case of pimples. i am not so sure about that when it comes to monica. but, for the past 12 weeks, i can say, i have been putting on more weight and having a bout of harmless pimples. reprehensibly, my breasts in actual fact have become bigger. if i don’t do something about this, i would have to start thinking about bras or some other type of support.

jumpin joey

2004-06-23T22:10:00.000+01:00

the punting on saturday was brilliant as expected except for the sporadic showers and unremitting complaints from eric. every 5 minutes he kept requesting for one of us to take over. saturday reminded me what a whimp eric really is. na, just pulling his legs. he was a genuine star. he laboured for more than 90% of the time, avidly giving us a commentary on cambridge colleges and their history. that pole they use to punt, it weighs about 10 kgs. i couldn't accept as true a skinny african [mauritian] toiling with the punt for over 2 hours !! i promise you, he has a career in punting when he graduates with his m.phil. [here] are some photos from our punting session on saturday.

took monica to [rosie maternity hospital] for her first scan today !! woo hoo !! we had a 9:00am rendezvous. she was asked to come in with a full bladder since the scans look vivid on the monitor. so, monica woke up at 5:00 am, drained her bladder, had 3 glasses of water and promptly went back to sleep. at rosie, the lady called us in and a gel [that has silver chloride to facilitate access] was applied to monica's abdomen. pulsed ultrasound, because of it's high frequency can be aimed in a specific direction and it obeys the normal laws of geometric optics with regard to reflection, transmission and refraction. monica asked me if they are like x-rays. i was able to her that no, these transducers use high frequency pulses less than 7 megahertz. x-rays are on the other side of the spectrum, after UV rays but before gamma. i have read about these scanners before.

forgeting that hogwash, we saw this tiny baby on the monitor and i assure you words simply won't do any justice if i am to express the bliss i & monica experienced that fraction of a moment. monica even cried instantaneously, jubilant tears i promise you. the baby provisionally is nicknamed jumping joey. when ever the lady pressed the transducer on to monica's abdomen, the baby hopped. we could catch sight of the umbilical cord, the face [including a pronounced nose], the legs and even the pulsating heart !! i am not sure if the baby is a boy. the hopping seems to persuade me that it has to be a boy, but at the same time the jumping could mean the baby is very ticklish .. more like monica. hmm ..

the lady measured the length and she concludes the baby is about 12 weeks old. you should be able to catch a glimpse of the scans here [1, 2]. later in the afternoon, when i was busy optimising my diffie hellman key exchange mechanism, monica said she wants to see the baby again. i didn’t realise she was *not* joking until she asked me "how much" one those ultrasound devices would cost ? oh boy !! well, i had to confess to her that they are quiet inexpensive and probably set us back by no more than 3 or 4 million pounds. since i am laden with easy money, i told her that i am going to the toilet to withdraw 4 million pounds straight out of my "you know what". kwazy woman !

porno pandas

2004-06-17T16:44:00.000+01:00

see the new snapshot on the right ? that is my gorgeous, 4 months old niece, nina. she unquestionably has my brother's smile and nearly his face, but certainly not his hair or his skin tone!. if you ever attempt and look for either me or ragho, my brother, after twilight, make sure you carry a powerful torch light. you can by no means recognise our black faces otherwise. monica has her 12 week scan on wednesday the 23rd june. i am praying everything will be ok. monica has been scrutinising a lot of maternity related shows. i can't comprehend how she watches them as some scenes are off putting. The episode on foetus–in-foetu was particularly harrowing. anyway, i am delighted she watches them since all they ever talk about are "complications and how best we can avoid them".

i have a rendezvous with the nurse tomorrow for gauging my blood pressure. i feel fine and i hope it will be normal.

have you been informed of the porno pandas ? these chinese people are absolutely imaginative !! in china, some where in the forests of course, they exhibit mating scenes of pandas on a large screen time after time so that pandas can "become skilled at" or get excited I suppose. as usual, they claim staggering success. even a 4 year old female panda has been impregnated that way. evidently, these stupid pandas know nothing about the laws pertaining to under age sex !!

eric has invited us for punting in the river cam this weekend. he was my colleague back at nokia and we used to work on the SGSN [core network implementation] side of packet data. i was his project leader and i take enormous pleasure in pointing out that he was utterly useless. all he ever did at work was listen and sing along to songs by the [cheeky girls]. after leaving nokia, he some how hoodwinked cambridge university into accepting him for a M.Phil [that too with a full bursary] and fortuitously has graduated just a few weeks ago.

eric says we will have lunch at the [king’s college] mess hall before the punting. for those who have seen harry potter(s), i nudge you to recall one of the many scenes where they all sit in the common dining hall with floating candles. almost all oxbridge colleges have similar themes since most were constructed pre-victorian days. i will click some snaps [if permitted] and host them on my web site. i will pretend to be harry farter. i am certainly hairy and need i mention anything about farting ?

inge [the norwegian dilbert] and his lovely fiancé marie [from toulouse, france] called us a few days back. they are getting married on the 23rd of july 2005. i have warned them that i will gate crash if i receive no invitation.

my last day here at [Brandcomms] will be the 9th of july 2004.

coochi coo baby

2004-06-14T22:49:00.000+01:00

can anyone remind me who came up with this phrase ? i think it is that telly savalas [kojak] guy although he might have wrapped that phrase from one of the kids on the road. anyway, i been taught two new words "woot" and "teehee" by the ever so useful yankees. my niece ammu [pronounced moose] is planning to do a doctoral thesis on wootology as the challenges in medicine and engineering are merely not there for her anymore. she has almost perfected the word "woot" as it can now be used as a noun, a verb and an adjective !! do not fret, more work is being done by her to extend its efficacy to other areas.

thanks to moose, now, we have the competence to say things such as "sorry to have wooted you, mr. i will make sure the woot will not bother you tomorrow. i have no wooting idea what i am wootin about. i am such a woot !". amusing yanks. but then, i heard something even funnier. a troupe of british people gather in the salisbury plains every wednesday dressed up like ned flanders from the [simpsons]. the leader steers the sermon and everyone says "okalie dokalie" instead of something analogous to amen. crazy brits !

okay, to serious matters: on saturday last weekend i felt some chest pains. may be it was psychological as i had come to know from my earlier visit to the GP that my BP was 160/110. my left eye was experiencing some soreness, in the socket. i have read reports before that when the BP is high, blood vessels in the eyes get pinched and rupture in extreme cases. i did not want to gamble. i went to addenbrokes accident & emergency at 9:00 pm. i checked in, told the receptionist what i experienced. they whisked me away immediately, positioned 4 electrodes on my heart, 2 each on my hands & legs and recorded ECGs for 15 seconds. they took my BP after that. 135/88 - a lot better than wednesday but still a bit high. they examined my left eye with an optical device and invited me to read a chart from a distance with my right eye closed.

everything was ok, the doctor said my QRS complex [on the cardiogram] looked perfectly okay and he did not see anything wrong with the eye either. he said he was not willing to prescribe any drugs, not even an ointment for the eye. he went away in a dash saying i should come back in a couple of days if the pain still persisted. i wasn't too worried about the eyes although the twinge remained there for a further 2 days. now with ECGs i know conclusively there is nothing wide of the mark with my heart.

yesterday, i was searching for my certificates [graduation certificates] from my suitcase upstairs. i had been watching almost the entire england & france football game along with monica. though i do not like or enjoy football, i had predicted a 1-0 score to england before the game started. the game was almost over, so i went up and glanced for my certificates. i was there for barely a minute. i take notice of monica saying "oh God" and i was worried. i called her name from upstairs and enquired if she was feeling ok. she said, "yes man, no worries". 20 seconds later, she again said "oh my God" with a bit more emphasis on "God". i was apprehensive, came down to inspect her. what happened was that france had scored twice in roughly 2 minutes and had beaten a poignant england 2-1. i had gone up for only 2 minutes, the game was over and utterly turned around !!

this only reminded me of tyson & michael spinks super 88 match up. the hearsay goes like this. spinks's wife comes down the MGM grand elevator along with spinks himself, kisses him "good luck", informs him that she will return to the room and watch the match live on the TV. keep in mind, spinks has a 30-0 win-loss record, with 21 KOs. she sees him enter the ring, the lift's door close, reaches her hotel room [which is in the adjacent building] barely 1 minute later, turns the TV on and catches the referee pronouncing iron mike the winner !! spinks is on the floor and neither him nor his wife knew what hit them. the poor woman never saw her husband spinks fight ever again. spinks retired with a record of 31-1 [21 KOs], the only ever blemish was his loss to iron mike in a world record time of 91 seconds.

that is what i felt like. even the replay of goals by france can never tell me how it exactly happened.

oh yeah, i am resigning from my work today. i will serve out my notice period of 4 weeks starting tomorrow. the idea is for me to park myself at home and take care of the baby once delivered. monica will be the bread winner for the family while i hang about at home cleaning, cooking, lawn mowing, shopping, washing clothes, disposing diapers etc. i and monica talked about this a lot and we both decided this is how we wanted things to be.

bollocks !! monica will never agree to this twaddle. i wuz zust zokin [wootin], i am joining a new company in cambridge middle of next month. more details later.

what about bob

2004-06-10T21:07:00.000+01:00

i went for an examination at the local clinic on wednesday evening. i was already asked to bring a urine sample and the first thing they did was test for diabetes. i do not comprehend how they do it using just a urine sample, but the good news is that i am not diabetic. next the nurse strapped some contraption on my right arm and at the push of a button the thingamajig started squeezing my biceps as if i am receiving a brilliant massage for no apparent reason. may be they delight non diabetic people with a rub down at this clinic !! alas, my relaxation stopped when i heard intermittent beeps. aha, i realised it was a blood pressure monitor !

i have high blood pressure, 160/110. the nurse took the reading twice, a 10 minute break between the two. i produced identical reading the second time around as well. now, i have been requested to see the nurse again next friday, 1 week spot on from today. the nurse said if the blood pressure remains that high, she would scrutinise my blood pressure for an additional week, thrice a day. i think i can regulate my blood pressure back to normal. i neither know the reason for this high blood pressure nor do i feel any transformation in my physical or mental health. i am not troubled too much. i am sure it will settle down satisfactorily sooner rather than later.

i called fazal at maldives today to find out how he & sheena are doing. i did not give any name when i called, fazal thought i was bob – i wondered who bob was. fazal maintains he has a friend bob in maldives while i am fairly confident it is not a common name there. sheena got promoted and she is a project coordinator at the president's bureau. sheena often tells me that i would take delivery of a red carpet welcome if & when i visit maldives. i have no doubt about that.

a propos my work, i have some news which i will indeed make public on monday [14/06]. monica, i and yovita had dinner at a vietnamese restaurant today as monica desired to have something soupy. i had some spicy vietnamese curry that had mock abalone [made of soya] and ladies finger [okra]. i must acknowledge, it was nice.

a shocker from fazal

2004-06-09T15:17:00.000+01:00

i received dreadful news from sheena yesterday that she had lost her baby on the 1st of june. she noticed some bleeding and set off to the doctors' rite away and there they observed no foetal heart beats. the perceptible cause was a urine infection which, her doctor insists, almost certainly came about from cat faeces and rain water collected from the inclined roof tops. maldives, being an atoll, must gather potable water from all practical sources, rain always a splendid option. as you probably know already, ground water is high in salinity in islands, atolls and such.

the news upset us and some of our ex-nokia colleagues since both sheena & fazal were looking forward to this baby very passionately. i hope they will be on the mend quite soon.

we had out first visit from the midwife today. she stayed with monica for an hour and gave more information than what we could have imagined. monica informed me that the midwife was au fait with ideas and went about patiently elucidating what monica needed to know. monica also couldn't resist taking a swipe at my inability to show patience when it mattered.

the woman has been watching a new series on the telly although i won't be able to tell you what the label of the show is. it is about a competition for "desis" in the UK who would like to make it big time in bollywood. you find mamas, aishwarya rai want-to-be, kamal hasans, paandu hawaldars and most significantly mamis who are bloody damn fat that they require the services of two cameras to caputure them into a single frame !! at least the background songs are nice. oh !! let us not utter a word about the over acting.

i have prepared my tax forms already. the tax man wanted me to do the tax forms for the last 2 years. in the UK, you need not do a tax return / assessment unless the taxation office specifically demands you to file for a particular year.

monkeys on the road

2004-06-06T21:16:00.000+01:00

i came to halt on a red light at the regent street & hill street junction. although i was gazing straight ahead waiting for the lights to turn green, i could sight some hand movements to my immediate right. it was from a man, about the same age as me, sitting on the passenger side of a suzuki vitara. i rolled down my window to find out what he was trying to articulate.

as soon as i did that, he says "you drive fu&%*ng slow". although i was offended, i offered him the reason "my wife is pregnant mate, that is why i am slow". for those who do not know cambridge, the roads here are fairly narrow with plenty of pot holes and make shift repairs. the quality of the roads are perhaps a tad better than those at madras. i could hear this idiot’s wife/girl friend at the wheels telling him to simmer down as i had a compelling reason. he was either too drunk that time or he had a very bad day. he did not stop. he continued, "yeah .. but you are too slow, go on hide behind your wife". since the monkey repeated what he already had said, i replied "i will drive as slow as i want to and that's none of your business". with limited vocabulary and flying high on coccaine he said, "yeah this is not your fu%$ng road". i give him a middle finger acknowledgment and ask him what his problem was. i was rolling up my window and i could hear his wife/girl friend scream at him with clenched teeth to "stop it". so i wondered who was, if truth be told, hiding behind his wife. monica and yovita were in the car doing absolutely nothing but listening to two idiots in a street fracas.

the fact is, even when monica is not in the car, lately i habitually clock 26mph on a 30mph zone and approximately 55 on a 60 zone. i merely was not aware of that until today when i made a conscious effort to monitor my speed. i can remember sparkal telling me about him having to drive unhurriedly when arati was pregnant. even when monica is not in the car, i endeavour to avoid bumps, pot holes etc. i can emphatically say i won't drive any faster than what i want to when monica is there in the car but i speculate how many people would be incensed by my driving before the year end. the answer i guess is "i don't care".

at last, the midwife has called. monica will call NHS to organise her 12th week scan. i will go with her on all her visits. i hope everything will be ok.

my living room looks like a pig sty. everything is reasonably shipshape except for the coffee table. now it is a coffee table, a library shelf, a VCD rack – you name it. i wanted to clean last weekend. well, the weekend is over already.

breathing space

2004-06-02T18:12:00.000+01:00

i am still unwearyingly waiting for the mid wife to call on us. my anxiety is manifold and if and only if i could know what the immediate future holds, my nervousness might loosen its clutch on me. i would like the tests to be done soon to confirm both monica and the baby are doing perfectly okay. krithi, my sister, says scans and blood tests will give the doctors a realistic indication of when the baby will be born. as per my own reckoning, the baby will be a capricornian.

in the mean while, susan miller, the famed american astrologer, advices me a lot of caution. she says september 2004 is when i can expect pleasant times to come back. i read the outrageously amusing novel holy cow by sarah mcdonald in which she makes it sound as if all the soothe-sayers in india make accurate predictions. i must admit i have been knocked for six by some of the predictions made by astrologers in madras, but much of what i have heard in india are jabberwockies. anyway, this one clairvoyant in madras noted 2005 will be the start of, what he termed, sensational twelve years. to corroborate, this guy also revealed numerous things that in fact have happened in my life. when a person can confidently declare what had taken place in my life, many of them personal, i can only assume he is no bullshit artiste. it was as if he was asserting facts, not predictions. so, susan miller with her september 2004 calculation might be striking the right chords.

work was ok today. i have assigned myself 6 bugs from the bug tracking tool. my hair is growing out of control. i am planning to shave it completely this weekend as summer is here to settle for a while. my mother once suggested if i could have my head shaved once every year, i will not go bald. i have been doing it every summer for 5 straight years now and i am beginning to think she was correct. i am sure my brother, ragho, will concur with me ;-)

i have some shopping to do tonight before going home.

days are slow

2004-06-01T17:01:00.000+01:00

as you can see, i have not posted a blog in 4 days. although i have been busy at work, i can't really say i enjoyed it. i am quite dispirited as i cannot assure myself that the work i do at the moment will be of any use in the future. if it wasn't for the money, i am sure i won't force myself to wake up at daybreak with any urgency.

monica has been eating like a rabbit - far too little but far too often. she has become very audacious, adding a lot more zing to her food. annie, my colleague, says if a pregnant woman craves for "sour" things, then the baby will be a lad. "spicy" on the other hand would undeniably mean a lass. so, "annie", i ask, "you must have been partial to spicy food since you have a daughter"? she says, "no bollocks. it didn't work for me".. hmm. i wonder why she mentioned this to me with some assurance ? although i & monica much prefer a baby girl, i query if monica's fondness to food with zing-amahoochi these days signifies a girl !

i read monica's blog today and observed what she said about "not coming across as a motherly figure" to most people. i must insist, she really does not. worse, i cannot even see her as a teenager !! my warped imagination sees monica in the play room wrestle with my baby over what dress barbie should be sporting and how many "barbies and ken" they each are allowed in their respective collection ! I should stop watching those horror channels in the night.. [no eric, not those channels you are thinking about]

last weekend went faster than superman on dope. just when the tranquility was settling in, the alarm sadistically trumpets it is time to go to work. it is a very dangerous attitude. i have to stop sniveling and put up with my work for a few more months...

comedy all around

2004-05-27T17:38:00.000+01:00

ok.. i established something yester night. ginseng is not meant for boosting memory!! it is acknowledged for keeping your energy levels up. that makes sense now!! apparently, the magic cure for short term memory loss is another funky japan-ko nonsense by the name gingko biloba. the local chinese doctor plomises me that gingko is vely vely good for my memoly. so, i must give it a try.

monica got news from our HR regarding maternity leave. seemingly she gets paid 90.2% of her weekly salary for 15 weeks and on top a government regulated value for the subsequent 20 weeks. this is not bad as i was ok with monica parking herself at home from september onwards. besides she has 4 working weeks of holiday entitlement that she can avail before the end of december. so, she can rest and be out of work for 39 weeks and still get paid for that!! all in all this is good for her and for me, financially.

paternity leave? the HR has no bloody idea since this company has never employed a "father to be" until now. but the hearsay is, i get one week off for my hard work. goodie!! i have lived in so many countries – india, usa, australia, singapore and now the uk. this country by far presents the best civil liberties i can think off. the health service is fantastic although a local would be more critical of my contention. we need not pay for anything - even if we need a brain tumor removed!! dependants have more flexible work rights than even the permit holder. the maternity & paternity earnings actually come from the government and not from the company!! the list can go on for ever. but this country also taxes the most i guess. i & monica together pay tax well in excess of US $3300 per month. on top of this you have indirect taxes – council tax, value added tax [similar to GST], pissing tax, shiting tax etc. etc. adding up to another few hundred US dollars a month. but no worries on that subject really. the past 5 years undoubtedly have been the best years for me. i owe it all to england.

coming back to baby names from yesterday, monica's thinking has turned a few corners. she desires to know how our kids would "address" us. WHAT? is this really important now? i say "dad" is quite simple and pleasing. but no, posh monica suggests "matashri" and "pitashri" from the Mahabaratha!! WHAT? is this woman for real or is my baby playing with some of the switches in her body? she also does not want debatable names – the names that could mean something else in some other country. she gives an example, "mani" a typical south Indian name actually means "sperm" in indonesia!! what the heck? aditya could mean "hippopotamus breath" in burkina faso! do we have to really care?

my cousin prakash, from good old madras, suggests I change the name of this blog from "amrita puri" to "bhel puri". may be he is right. but do you guys know what [amritapuri] is?

leonardo, my sri lankan mate from australia, sent an email a year back to monica. it was simple and it read "dear monica, i have become a father. ps:not the kind you would see in churches.".

oh leo!! sometimes he cracks me up. ok, "father" is out – but "dad" is ok.

we have a long weekend – monday is a holiday in england! looking forward to that.

rude awakenings

2004-05-26T19:33:00.000+01:00

apologies for missing a blog yesterday. i had been so productive at work [surprise] that i did not have the time to even check email. monica's six weeks' worth of folic acid supplements appear to be ready at the pharmacy and ready for collection. the ginseng magic appears to be working now as i can at least remember that i have been taking ginseng for 5 days !! from that, my memory is far healthier than it was 5 days back.

ignominy !! i went to tesco, a local superstore, on monday evening and bought a small load of stuff. everything scanned and painstakingly placed in the plastic bags ready to take home. the humiliation came about when the check-out lady said, £16.24 please !! i had forgotten to carry my wallet with me !! after some bollywood style flash backs, everything in bright, fluorescent colour ofcourse, i could vividly recall placing the wallet safely on the coffee table at home. bloody ginseng had let me down !! what nonsense. i had to wriggle and writhe, very politely confess to the check-out lady that i had left the wallet at home. she seemed sympathetic, understood these things happen to morons, and suggested i go and fetch the wallet. just when i was feeling grateful to the lady for not poking fun of me, she said "you realise sir, i cannot let you take the stuff with you before you pay for them ?" well, doh !!

anyway, i am being harrassed in the nights recurrently. it is not subtle any longer. monica has got hold of a cattle prod from some place and keeps jabbing me every few hours to stop snoring. i usually flip to one of my sides and hope my snoring would subside. what else can i do ? although it will suit monica very well, stitch my mouth ? like mark twain said, "a man will never be able to ascertain why he cannot hear himself snore". so, i am at peace.

the Mahabaratha has been on stage in monica's mind. she keeps wrenching names out of the Mahabaratha for baby names !! luckily, i have veto power [or at least the power to suggest alternatives]. she says "pandu", i says "ghatotkacha". she keeps asking why i do not like some of the names she suggests and adds to her persuasion that those were great people.

at the end of the argument we settle upon "aditya" but also agree to draft a name list to browse later. suggestions are most welcome – monica & i must remind you of our veto powers.

we went into the city a few days back and i took some pictures with monica and yovita. you can view the pictures [here].

feedbacks and bite backs

2004-05-24T17:14:00.000+01:00

the wishes keep pouring in non-stop. most of them seem to have a "ask monica to be alert & you better take care of her properly bastard" thesis. i wonder why all of this go to monica and none for me ! chris, my ex-line manager from nokia, even said "oh boy, now you really have to be sensible". what is he trying to say ? any allusion to my work back at nokia ?

i have to shamefully confess that i was all out of sorts for two whole weeks leading up to the day of my marriage. if i could use words to explain how perturbed i was, then blogspot.com will surely shut down suing me for using up all their storage space. a nightmare. even the catholic priest was in a "interview that heathen and find out what he knows about love" disposition. i can remember standing next to monica having to shake 550 peoples' hands who were at the wedding reception and i knew none of them !! it was just like a dumb american blonde hostess standing at the exit saying "thank you for flying trans american" to 400 odd passangers. my unfortunate mate, william [click here], has to do this fire walk this summer.

having conquered "nervousness" on the day of my wedding, i feel quite cozy at the moment. may be the fear will come back to irk a bit a few days before the baby is due. monica's unsettled stomach seems to have mellowed down a bit. i attribute it to the change in her diet. my home smells like a fruit vendor's. indubitably, fruit flies would love to make mine their home in the short term.

monica loves to write romantic [bullshit] novels in her native tongue and it is usually a ".. hapily ever after" ending. the lass in her novel is usually gita. we decided, more than 2 years back, if we have a girl her name will be gita. i also used to read a verse from the 'Bhagawad Gita' every day and gita is a name i enthusiastically liked. now, here comes the toughy. what if the baby is a boy ? yovita, my sister-in-law [genius] suggested bhagawat !! hmm.. not a genius after all.

i've been reading some biology books on human reproduction, x&y chromosomes, genes etc. and all the other confusing gibberish. while at singapore i tried hard looking for a "mixed" baby - specifically an indian and a chinese mix. i could not find any as i was too much in a hurry. i just hope the chromosomes do their stuff properly [no improper mixing please] !! i am hoping our baby will be a balanced mix - not a short, black, quick-eyed, bent nosed baby.

sincere wishes

2004-05-21T16:49:00.000+01:00

i sent out an email informing friends and family about the impending arrival of my baby boy [or baby girl] in jan 2005. when i arrived for work this morning, i was quite overwhelmed by all the replies and sincere wishes. one among them was unique. my mate sparkal, from melbourne, said i have taken a step in the "right direction". it didn't mean much to me but it has been 7 hours since i read his email. you know, he is absolutely right. i've been thinking more like a family man the past 1 week than i have over the past 8 years with monica.

marriage is not for companionship alone. it is for propagation [of faith, of values, of morals] and for utmost commitment. had it been only for companionship i guess most people would fancy staying as "partners" and not as "husbands and wives".

i've been already thinking about "delivery" & the pain that goes with it. i have this flamboyant vision of monica holding on to my testicles and squeezing them with every push she makes in the maternity ward so that i might experience the pain she feels. OUCCCCH !! i was wondering how my demure looking wife would deliver the baby come crunch time. speaking of sparkal, something swiftly hit me. his wife arati is one of the most minuscule of women you would ever see. you look at her and speculate how in the world she could carry a baby although sparkal himself seems to be carrying triplets in his tummy permanently. arati is so petite, her hips are barely wide enough to blast the odd fart out let alone a baby !! monica is even smaller than arati. although monica has no trouble being a fart cannon, I still cannot comprehend how she will push the baby out come delivery time.

my BBC [british born chinese, ex-nokia colleague] friend, daniel, said he cannot believe i am reproducing. thinking about it, i am an indian, monica an ethnic chinese. after all, we are the two communities that have over populated this planet.

now i have a mental picture of a conveyor belt and a mass baby production line.

my next blog will be on monday.

niggles

2004-05-20T15:23:00.000+01:00

why do we call it "morning sickness" ? in monica's case we should be calling it "MAN sickness - morning, afternoon and night" !. she grumbles about nausea but can't vomit. apart from her incessant grievances, i am quite apprehensive about her not vomiting. have you seen how a pregnancy is deftly portrayed in bollywood movies ? the ever so obedient daughter-in-law [AKA house donkey] is going about her daily household errands and suddenly vomits !! vvwwwooooooooikkkkk !!. invariably the mother-in-law, with her gigantic arse, is the first one to sight this and comes running towards her daughter-in-law in slow motion with new found love & affection to the background strumming of 101 veenas and sitars.

monica's mom apparently had this morning sickness for 5 months. annie, my associate, gives me more grief by declaring she had it for 7 months !! krithi, my sister, who has delivered twice insists this is almost a myth as far as she is concerned. may be this sickness affects chinese people more than any other ethnic community. i must reconcile with the possibility monica's queasiness could last anywhere between 5 and 7 months. i feel sorry for monica as she can't sleep well when she feels half her stomach is in her throat. up until a week back, monica would wake up in the night only because of my snore. monica who alleged "nagi, you snore as if you are in a direct competition with a vacuum cleaner on heat" has been keeping me awake off late with her sighs and heavy breathing !

i have been noticing something funny. beef, chicken, seafood .. things which are usually monica's favourites make her detest them with a vengeance. sometimes she can't even stand the smell !! surprisingly, she has a fanatical craving for apples, pears, grapes, papayas and broccoli.

i have this impression that my baby is distinctly vegetarian like me.

need to plan now

2004-05-19T16:25:00.000+01:00

we saw this general practitioner at the clinic yesterday and told him monica could be pregnant. he wanted to check for himself, handed her a small container and instructed her to bring a urine sample from her first passing the following day. additional instructions were given on the assumption that monica is indeed pregnant. he told us how things work in england, assigning a mid wife, blood test, scans, registering her to the "rosie maternity hospital" etc. etc.

he mentioned something about hepatitis B and some tests need to be done as it is quite prevalent in asia. apparently this bloke used to be a doctor with the royal air force and has practically flown to every corner of the world on various missions. to my horror he claims all his patients in hong kong had hepatitis B. he suddenly jerked, asked monica where she hails from. "indonesia" she says and he follows it up with "how did you come to the UK". with hind sight i grasp this doc was too nosy. but yesterday, for what ever reason, i acted like a little boy standing in the corner clutching on to his 2 inch penis answering everything with a "yes sir, sheriff sir". i bet he was thinking, with monica's far eastern looks, i fetched monica from a "mail order bride" catalogue and i guess he wanted one for himself. when i informed him that we had met back in australia during our university days he looked quite disappointed.

"so", he continues, "this is a planned pregnancy, I presume". monica blushes and nods in agreement. i tell you, this guy cannot shut up. he says "how long have you been trying" and we tell him "a month, there abouts". he looks at me and says "wow !! strong, young man" and i being to look like a sheep. he asks if we have any questions for him. i thought he would never ask. we ask him about monica's nausea and what can be done, her diet, vitamin supplements and he responds with "no no no !! you do no such thing woman. We do not like to give any medicine for nausea except in severe cases". however, he was nice enough to suggest acupuncture as a means to alleviate this nausea. he said "except for folic acid", doctors in europe [excluding italy] advice no vitamin supplements. no aspirin, paracetemol is ok. he advices her to eat vegetables, fruits, meat .."red meat" as it has iron. i ask him about "quantity" - does she eat for two now ? he says, "no no no !!! you do no such thing woman. the baby is like a parasite, the baby takes all the nutrients it needs from you. no need to eat any more than you usually do". i felt i have been misinformed by all those bollywood movies. all the old grannies in those movies have been over stuffing those poor pregnant souls with excess food. he drives a point, "getting rid of excess weight after pregnancy is not easy" and he gives an example of his "nepalese gurka women" and how fit they & their babies were during and after pregnancy just by following a very meager diet.

he may be a bit unusual. i am sure he knew what he was talking about. this afternoon monica called the clinic and they confirmed she is pregnant.

work is a drag

2004-05-18T12:59:00.000+01:00

we have this demo for a "public safety authority" that is scheduled for mid june. i am supposed to get this RADIUS extension called EAP to get working with our VPN solution. ever since i joined this company i have been involved with way too much coding. this is not good since there are severe limitations with me when it comes to programming and i have no formal education in programming as such. i can do C very very well and that is where my software knowledge stops. there is absolutely nothing wrong with my logic. i am a researcher by education and i would be best placed working on specifications and design - may be even minimal implementation.

ever heard of a monkey coder ? no ? well, come to my company and you will find one. i do a lot of coding and i indeed look like a monkey, a black one at that ! when i was at nokia i was involved with so much research work i would look forward to waking up every morning so that i can do some more work. sounds geeky, but i am no geek. i would work every day until the security guards kicked me out as it was time to close. that changed when i joined this company. these days, after 2 alarms and half an hour of self imposed extra sleep i still do not feel like waking up. i dread work. to be fair, the work is not boring. i am sure it is somebody else's cup of tea.

return from singapore

2004-05-17T12:21:00.000+01:00

the trip was good. as usual, whenever i go on holidays, i do not feel like getting back to work. zita was providential and got a job in a day. i have never seen santosh, my mate in singapore, as happy as he was when he explained to me the project he was working on. santosh magnanimously accepted zita as his employee without even interviewing her. i learned fazal finally proved his manhood. sheena is due to deliver in dec 2004.

monica might be pregnant as well. ever wonder why people say "congratulations" when you say "my wife is pregnant" ? i personally think getting a woman pregnant is fairly easy [ask any unmarried man and he would agree that the chances of his girl friend getting pregnant before marriage is close to 100%]. as a matter of fact, last month was the first month in 2 years of our marriage i & monica decided to have a baby. so, i tell my father in law in singapore "monica thinks she might be pregnant". he quivers, offers his thanks to Jesus, Rama, Buddha, Allah and everyone else - ends up congratulating me like i have never been congratulated before. i never thought becoming a grand father was that grand an occasion. or was he thinking, "i married my daughter off 2 years back, how come she is not pregnant yet" ?. i think he was finally relieved to find out my sperm is still quite powerful.

just recently, i found out 2 out of 5 women in the world have pregnancy related problems. they require IVF in order for them to become pregnant. success rate of one IVF cycle is about 30 % meaning women usually go through an average of 4 cycles before they become pregnant. each cycle costs them USD 5000 !! even before the baby is born, the baby has costed them USD 20,000 !! it is not that easy for 40 % of women to become pregnant. a variety of problems, both inherent in men & women, makes it difficult for an embryo to develop. suddenly, i see things in a different light and i am thankful to God.

i want to start my own company someday, don't know when. the more i think, the sooner i want to do it. there are far too many limitations, risks and confusions at the moment. will see what God has in store for me.