i like it when God smiles

just returned from my jaunt to singapore and I feel wonderful. although I will candidly admit the vacation wasn’t all that relaxing, it was spiritually stirring and extraordinarily simple. I consider myself very religious [but not over fervent] and the thought of God smiling at me relaxes me instantaneously. I have never seen God; don’t think I will this lifetime. I love gazing at pictures of Shiva smiling, Krishna playing the flute or Jesus with arms stretched out – rather than an enraged Kali or a Jesus on the cross. the thought of a smiling God makes me feel at ease and my prayers are heartfelt and readily forthcoming.

this last outing to singapore lasted 13 days and I say I have been to the temples there each and every day – sometimes more than just once a day. I spent over 2 hours at the temple on most of my visits. people have a propensity to pray more when they are in need of something and I am no exception to this. I won’t be a charlatan and claim something else. I feel there are pressing issues in my life and my anxiety seems to find no boundaries. monica had scheduled her blood tests [unintentionally, when I was away at singapore] and I was desperately keen to ascertain everything was perfectly ok and normal.

I was praying both monica and the baby are normal – with no problems relating to HIV, hepatitis B, haemoglobin etc.  when you are apprehensive, your mind has the ability to think of the pits and plays out unworkable situations and combinations from where you could or might have contracted some spiteful virus or disease. I am super special though. my mind plays everything in digital colour with dolby 5.1 – especially when I am sleeping. people call them nightmares, not me. I call it hyper extensible, perverted mind syndrome. 

a pin/needle prick I had encountered in a cinema at melbourne, without more ado, flickers in my mind and I begin to summon up everything in detail including the day it happened - the 12th august 1997. the genius in me rallies to find all possible state of affairs including the possibility of that needle having HIV in its tip. fortunately, the results for the two sets of blood tests carried out on monica conclusively prove everything is perfectly ok and normal with her and the baby. monica even listened to the baby’s heartbeat.

I believe God deliberately put me through this unpleasant ordeal to teach me something focal. I have never felt love for monica like I felt when I was away at singapore. above all, the trip taught me how to breathe deeper, talk less and concentrate better. the spiritual rewards were a lot more than what I experienced over the past few years. there goes my anxiety down the drain.

photos from singapore trip are [here].

one more week

cannot believe it has been a week since i arrived at singapore. it has been good and productive and i hope it stays the same. have been sending sms to monica all day long, most days, and i get no replies sometimes. monica's dad has returned to indonesia and it is just zita and me here now. been telling zita not to work until 10pm every day as she does not get paid for overtime at all.
 
zita's friend [ex-groupie from melbourne] has come to visit her and i am not planning to spend time with either of them today.  i will go for a movie i guess with sunil instead and then a visit to the temple before i return home in the evening.
 
got an email from chris and he says things are well and he managed to see some movies at the film festival. i have been clicking away a lot of pictures and i have to sift through them. that is all for now. hope monica is doing very well at cambridge.

quickie

singapore aint as hot as i thought it would be. the reason obviously must be the north-east monsoon. the north-east monsoon is lashing out parts of south india, the bay of bengal, bangladesh and even burma !

zita had sent me offline messages on friday and saturday last week. i didn't know since i was on my way to singapore through bahrain. don't ever fly gulf !! it is official, it is the crappiest airline in the world. 2 hours delay at heathrow. the control tower refused the captain a time slot to take off because he broke the "30 minutes maximum to lift off" curfew that is imposed on all airlines [except british airways of course as they have their own terminal]. so, we had to wait for 1 and a half hours before we could get clearance. he flew the aeroplane like a saudi arabian drives a mercedes. i have never seen a 747 average more than 1000 kph. although 2 hours late at take off, the aeroplane landed just 45 minutes after scheduled landing time.

our flight had lots of connecting passengers to sydney and singapore and our pilot had radio-ed bahrain to stop the connecting flight to singapore from taking off. bahrain's airport is as clean as singapore. at first glance, it looks like a las vegas casino with "gates" placed here and there, randomly, to confuse the gamblers. another 1000kph flight by cpt.screamzalot landed us at singapore just 6 minutes after scheduled landing time. fantastic !!

zita was surprised to see me as she has no idea i was here to meet her and all my other mates. met with sunil, balaji, balu, krishnan .. and a few more to go. i have been clicking pictures and will post them up upon my return.

spiderman 2 is so so lah. i have been going to the temples every day. feel nice and happy. hope monica is doing well in the UK.

adios brandcomms

i have completed all the documentation work that required completion. i have 2 bugs to patch up but i am not in the mood. i have not done any useful work the whole of today apart from the little assistance i extended to annie on my [EAP-TLS] coding.

monica now weighs 46.5 kilograms!! woo yay !! that is about 2 kilograms more than what she averaged the whole of last few years. for those intrusive perverts who want to enquire how fat i am, i weigh a [modest] 74 kilograms. that is a full 7 kilograms more than what i used to weigh 5 years back. those 7 extra kilos, i confirm, are evenly split between my butt cheeks and face cheeks [i call them supplemental insulation or augmented fat reservoirs]. well, as monica put it – i certainly am one healthy, plump monkey at the centre of my village trying to cross bridges of all sorts.

my beautiful sister-in-law, [yovita], has concluded her A-levels and started preparing for SAT. she intends to audit two 1st year medicine courses at the [university of cambridge], take up her driving lessons and volunteer for some work at [addenbrookes]. one regrettable issue is that she has started cooking at home now since she has all the time she needs. that chicken she cooked a few days back, O'God, i feel sorry for that chicken mate. i made the bloomer of venturing into the kitchen while she was murdering the already dead chicken and i can never use that shirt ever again!! she burns everything she cooks man. much like the famed [midas touch], yovita's touch trans-mutates everything to black. i am dark brown and i better stay away from her before she turns me into charcoal.

i haven't been able to sleep well in recent times. i feel lethargic in the morning even after 6 to 7 hours of sleep every night. too much anxiety, outlandishly petrifying dreams and deep thoughts make me toss and turn. my back pain has returned. i don’t know why!! i do a bit of stretching exercise almost every day. it is not awful at the moment and i hope i can just go home and unwind tonight.

[eric] will be leaving the UK for good on the 24th. i am meeting him for dinner tomorrow. i hope he has a brilliant career and a cheerful future. although he is a complete jack ass, i and monica will surely miss him very much and wish him loads of good luck. monica will attend his graduation ceremony on the 17th. i will pay him a surprise visit at mauritius.

chris has his one week seminar to attend for his [open university] course on psychology down south. i cannot believe it, but it is true. 18 months of hard work [!!] at [brand communications] will come to a halt on thursday. i do not intend to do any shit on that day. tomorrow i have to make sure i devolve everything i ought to, pack up, gather everything that belongs to me, notify people that i am shifting etc. etc. i seek to relax completely for 2 weeks starting friday by doing absolutely nothing. i may or may not check my email for the next 2 weeks [but most likely will post another blog, depends on my shifty mood really].

4 more days ..

ok, now i know who the enigmatic caller to my blog from new zeland is. this is freaky and coincidental. i was looking at nick's [photographs] after my cricket training last night and telling monica that he has become a refined photographer. all of a sudden, this morning, i see a comment from nick to my previous blog. surprise!! i have been speculating who from new zeland reads my blog and i know just the answer to it now. [nick james] an ardent [west ham] & [essex] devotee is my mate and an ex-nokia associate. a genuine explorer when it comes to travelling, he has holidayed in many far flung places i have dreamed off. i would recommend all my readers to pop into his site and you will see what i mean. but, i can say none of those snaps are comparable with [this one]. by the way, that is from my stag night. those of you who would even consider saying "nagi!! this is despicable", i have only one thing to remark. disgraceful? what do you think i experienced when i saw that picture the next day !! i was paraded like a dog and i wasn't conscious of that until the next morning !!

i've been sighting a lot of indonesian guests as well to my blogspot. i presume they are all referred from monica's. i wonder how many of them i know or have seen. may be some comments from the visitors would remind me who they are.

just 4 more days at brand !! woo yay !! i will take my associates for a pint at a local pub on Thursday [08.07.2004] afternoon. about my meticulously deliberated train jaunt across singapore, malaysia and thailand – my [boss] has blatantly rejected my petition and has forbidden me from travelling. she even threatened to shave & tattoo my arse [no point, arse is too black for any tattoo to stand out] and hide my passport after i go to sleep. hmm.. i am not clear in my mind what to do now. may be i can take her out for a nice feast and coax her in to signing a document conceding me legal right to travel ? hmm.. not sure. that sort of a meal would indeed cost me £500.00. that reminds me: monica has been consuming food like a monster, which is good. i must say she has a voracious appetite for meat at the moment.

next thursday [08.07.2004] is our 2nd anniversary. as usual monica will give me a card and some flowers [to embarrass me] and i plant her a kiss in return. [i can hear nick saying "you Indian bastard" while eric says "go on nagi"]. as always, i will take her out for a sumptuous meal and may be a movie after that. news flash about my norwegian friend inge solberg [nick james's ex-group mate]. we heard from marie that inge has chicken pox !! i wonder from where he got it. i hope he gets through this crusty and itchy phase safe and soon. marie gave me a map of southern france before leaving england. i should start making plans with monica for a weekend trip to lourdes and toulouse.

spoke with gareth, the irish mongoose, and he seems to be doing very well with his work. mr. chris baines, my ex-nokia manager, is doing well. he wasn't much bothered about england losing in euro 2004. last weekend i had a couple of pints with him at the pub in cherry hinton and indulged in some intellectual mumbo jumbo. well, that is the end of today's blog. sparkal, my mate from melbourne, sent this wonderful photo of a [public toilet]. while, yes, it looks nice and clean, i am not too sure if i can relieve myself in there. hmm ..